A Happy Thought
- An imagining of what happened
before Tinkerbell betrayed Peter
Think of the happiest things
It’s the same as having wings
Take the path that moonbeams make
If the moon is still awake
You’ll see him wink his eye
You can fly, you can fly!
You can fly!
Tinkerbell stared at Peter fussing and fluttering and flirting with that girl.
Wendy.
A child.
A human child.
What did he see in her?
She shut her eyes, letting the leaf she was peeking behind fall like a curtain in front of her.
But she couldn’t shut the image of them out.
She’d given Peter magic. Taught him to fly. Given him this world. Made him immortal. Lived with him—been his partner—for all these years.
Yet he’d chosen her.
Tinkerbell fluttered her wings angrily, watching the shower of light—fairy dust—fall to the ground beneath her. She tried to comfort herself in the knowledge that it wouldn’t last. It never did with him. He’d taken his turn with every mermaid in the cove. Spent his time with the native princess. He’d had his flings.
But Peter needed Tink.
Without her, he’d be as flightless as his new pet. Without her, he’d grow old. He’d fall from this star back to a world that had failed him. Abandoned him.
She’d saved him. He needed her.
Didn’t he?
She sank down to land on a rock near the ocean. Gracefully, she did a twirl as her feet touched the hard stone, staring at herself in the water.
She made him special. Why couldn’t he see that? She was beautiful. She was magic. She was a flipping fairy.
And she loved him. Had since the moment she saw him. Had seen that sense of adventure and need for more in his soul. It’d called to her own. She’d known from that moment that they belonged together. Would fly wild and free forever. Together. She was his destiny.
How could Peter choose that girl over her?
A leaf fell from the trees above, drifting down to completely cover her reflection, leaving only a faint glow on the water. Tink felt her knees buckle as she frowned. Her limp body crumbled to the rock, reality a weight not even her magic could lift. She tucked her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, watching even the halo of her light disappear behind that leaf.
Who was she kidding?
She was a flipping fairy.
She could make the human boy fly. Could give him lifetimes of adventures. Could give him her whole world. She could make him special. Make him magic.
But it didn’t change who she was. There was no happy thought strong enough to change that.
She glared at that leaf—that tiny bit of tree—that hid her completely. How could she ever hope to have him look at her the way he looked at Wendy when she would always be too small to see?
She felt her tiny heart break, the pain within it too much for it to take. Like a thimble trying to contain the whole ocean.
Stop it.
She stood up.
Feeling sorry for herself wasn’t helping anything. Wasn’t helping anyone. Least of all her.
She wiped away tears—stupid, useless things—from her cheeks. In a snit, she walked up to the shore and kicked the water. The ripples shifted the leaf away, so she could see herself again in the moonlit water. She watched her wings flutter behind her, an idea flickering in her mind like her light over the water.
She looked up over the horizon, the shadow of Hook’s ship some where beyond.
She fluttered in the air, a thought so dark lifting her up, before landing hard on that damned leaf, letting water take it as it sank down beneath the waves.
Her Peter couldn’t see her with that big, dumb Wendy in the way.
But what if she wasn’t?
Tinkerbell watched the leaf disappear into the ocean before decidedly flicking her feet over the shore and flying off toward the shadowy horizon.
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Check out my story "Base & Vile Things"
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